Fear vs trust

If you are afraid to do anything outside your comfort zone, are you really living life?

As I get older, stepping outside the box seems to get easier.  I used to be shy, intimidated.  Little by little I've learned to step out boldly to do what God has planned for my life.  I refuse to be afraid anymore but I still know enough to be careful in what I do. 

My pastor had words of wisdom for me a few weeks ago.  He told me that as I get closer to May 9th that satan would work hard to keep me from going, to discourage me, and to put fear and hesitation on my heart because this pilgrimage was from God.   Boy, was he right.   So many things have happened to stress me out, keep me from training, make me anxious.  Finances, plumbing issues, weather, family, work.  All of this could make me back out in fear.  Fear that I'm not ready physically, fear about money, fear for a family member's well-being, fear that I'll make wrong decisions on what to bring and how to bring it on the airplanes, fear for my food allergies. OR it can push me to trust in God wholly and entirely for a good outcome in all those things.  For some reason, human nature makes fear the easiest place to go.  Trust is much more difficult, I think because it's hard to believe in what we do not know yet. 

It brings me back to the verse He gave me when I made the decision to go:  Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Seek His will in all you do, and He shall direct your paths .  Proverbs 3:5-6 (various translations)

Fear is the lack of trust.  My choice is trust. If I trust in Him, He will provide.  I will take this giant step outside my comfort zone, get on that plane, and begin walking three weeks from now.  I will trust God to take care of my loved ones at home and provide for all my needs on the Camino.

Deep breath. 

Jump!

...and then there were five..

Counting down.  Five weeks from today.  So much to do yet.  It seems like whenever I take something off the to do list, I wind up adding three more.  Work to make as much as I can to have on hand when I get back.  Train to get up to 15 miles in one day.  Making sure my fam is taken care of while I'm gone.  Getting care set up for my FIL, who is declining.  Training my replacement at the church.  Treating my gear with Permetherin to protect against bedbugs.  Making sure all the bills will be paid for 2 months.  Getting a GSM phone and a Spanish SIM card.  Picking seats on the plane so Cassie & I can sit together on our way home.  Purchasing travel insurance.  Finishing the last touches on my gear.  Whew.  It seems endless.  It will be easy to get overwhelmed.

Time to slow down and pray.  Walking helps me do that, and I'm so grateful for nicer days to accomplish this.  I'm asking for everyone else to keep me in your prayers too.  Please pray for me as I dive into these last few weeks.  Pray for clarity on what NEEDS to be done and what I can let go.  Pray for wisdom in decisions on what/what not to bring.  Pray for stamina, sanity, and health for me as I work, train, and get everything else done.  Please pray for my husband and father-in-law as things get done to help Poppa through his health issues.  Pray that I can connect with everyone in my life for at least a little before I leave. 

Buen Camino!